


Daydreams

by resplendently



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Broody Cover Singer! Ben, DIY Vlogger! Rey, F/M, Fluff and loads of fluff!, Hakuna Mitaka, Long Distance Relationship, Love at First Sight, Modern AU, Smutastic, Soft Boy Ben!, Some FinnRose and RebelCaptain, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-06-17 17:31:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15466476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resplendently/pseuds/resplendently
Summary: Ben Solo has it all. Talent, looks, and legions of fans thanks to his brooding song covers on his YouTube channel. But his world is turned upside down when he's introduced to a particular Brit Vlogger—ReyOfSunshine.The trouble is, they are a continent apart.





	1. At First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! This is written in honor of Reylo AU Week! It's going to be a short fic! 4/5 chapters! Thank you so much to my beta [wewantreylo](https://wewantreylo.tumblr.com) You can find her Reylo fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae)
> 
> Also! Thanks so much to [monsterleadmehome](https://monsterleadmehome.tumblr.com) for most of the song recs! She's our Reylo song expert! 
> 
> Enjoy!

  
  


  
  


**Chapter 1 | At First Sight**

“Oh, hell _yes!”_

Rey jumps and turns around slightly. She is met with the sight of her friend clutching onto her phone in barely concealed excitement and glee. 

“Don’t stare at me like that!” Rose huffs, as she fiddles with her phone. A manic expression takes over her features, as she taps on her phone screen furiously.

Rey snorts and sets down her book, quirking up a brow. “What’s got you so excited?”

“Like you don’t know,” her flatmate retorts but scrambles towards her. “There’s a new video!” 

“Oh, that singing dude?”

“REY!” 

She laughs and avoids the cushion that Rose flings her way before raising her hands to her face to swat away the rolled up magazine. “I’m sorry! Truce! Please!” 

Her best friend grimaces, shooting her a feigned glower before giving in and jumps onto the spot on the couch beside her. “Look at him! Oh my god!” 

“Okay, okay. Let me see,” Rey grins as Rose waggles her phone in her face. Taking the phone from her, the first thing that she notes is the white and black aesthetic that paints over the video. 

Darting her eyes down, she catches the glimpse of the Youtuber – “ThisIsKyloRen”. The face of a handsome brooding man greets her. She blinks in surprise just as Rose presses the play icon. 

Instantaneously, the sound of soothing acoustic guitar strings being plucked and a low baritone voice resounding from the small object makes her breath catch. This is not what she’d been expecting. 

Most of Rose’s tastes included current pop and electro pop music, not whatever _this_ is.

She watches entranced as the man, croons, eyes shut and his hands – Rey can see that his hands are rather big – pull at the strings. At that moment, it totally feels like he is singing to her and only her. God, who wouldn’t want to be serenaded by him?

Absorbed, Rey focuses on his singing, the man’s voice coming out low and rough – but oh so sweet like dark velvet chocolate – her guilty pleasure. Her eyes flit from the creases on his forehead, the dark silky looking waves that fall to just below his ears, the sharp angular planes that are his cheekbones, and lastly, the lush looking mouth that produces those lyrics.

Three and a half minutes flies by as though it was just mere seconds. Rey breathes out heavily when the video comes to a close.

“Oh my god.”

“Right?”

Rey nods mutely, ears still replaying the melancholic tune and the voice that had made it into a masterpiece. 

She’d always believed that songs sung by their original singers were the best. Nothing could beat them. Period. Hence, her refusal to check out any cover artists on Youtube or anywhere. 

But now? After him? Consider her _sold._

* * * * *

“Guess what happened today.”

Ben flicks a disinterested glance at his best mate who enters his house. “You know, when I gave you and Jyn the spare key, it was so both of you could enter with ease.” He stands up and grabs a bottle of the vitamin juice brand he knows Cassian likes. “It wasn’t an invitation for you or your wife to come and go as you please.”

Cassian shrugs, sliding his leather jacket off to chuck it on the coat rack. “Yeah, whatever. _Anyway,_ ” he stresses, flinging the key onto the hall table. “Guess what happened today.”

“What?”

Even though entertaining any of Cassian’s crap is the last thing he wants to do today, he does. Because his best mate would certainly not drop the subject – or any subject – until he’s satisfied.

“Jyn made some casserole thing that’s fucking delicious,” Cassian announces as he takes the bottled juice from him.

Ben frowns. “Jyn can’t cook,” he points out, stomach roiling at the thought of said cooking. He’d had the unfortunate luck to try it once. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to look at roast chicken the same way again.

“Exactly!” His friend slams the bottle down onto the table, face set into a solemn expression as though he’s about to declare something important. “She’d managed to cook just by watching some DIY Youtuber that’s on the rise.”

“DIY?” Ben echoes, wrinkling his nose. “You know I hate that insufferable crap. Those people are not even content makers and it’s a fucking travesty that they’re called as such.” 

Cassian rolls his eyes. “Yes, I know, ‘Your Snobbish Highness,’ but Jyn is really into it. She’s obsessed about this very Brit vlogger she’d found only just last week. And I’m certainly not complaining when it results in no more burned cooking.” 

“Great,” he remarks unenthusiastically, turning back to his laptop. “Another vlogger in the idiotic masses.” 

“She’s pretty, like _really_ pretty,” Cassian comments, shrugging as he twists the cap off the stolen juice bottle. 

“Who?” 

“This Brit vlogger. I’ve seen her; Jyn showed her to me.”

“Won’t your wife be jealous?” Ben snarks in reply, not bothering to face his friend as he types out a response to a particular comment on his twitter account.

“Nah, I think I’m the one who should be jealous of how obsessed she is about these people. Like how can I explain to anyone that my wife is more interested in watching people live than living with me?”

He snorts, as Cassian grins good-naturedly.

If there was ever a couple to be nauseating and disgustingly in love, it would be Cassian and Jyn Andor. In fact, Ben had lost count of the number of times he’d intruded on something between the pair. Sometimes, he really hated them for the loved-dovey display they always presented, but mostly, he was just happy for his friends. Not that he would ever admit it.

“Fuck off,” he mutters, throwing a stress ball to his right and watching in satisfaction when the green object hits Cassian in the face.

“Hey, you fucking prick! I help you edit your videos.”

“I know that,” he mumbles in response, as his eyes scan through the regular fan comments and the occasional critical ones. 

He feels the table shift when Cassian rests his weight on the edge and begins peeling an orange he’d snagged from the fruit bowl. “Get your ass off the table,” he snaps waspishly. “It’s going to break from how fat you are.”

Like the best mate he is, Cassian doesn’t. “So what are you going to do for your next video? Which song is lucky enough to be covered by the great Kylo Ren?”

Before he can reply, the front door bursts open and both he and Cassian jerk in their spots. 

“BEN! LOOK!” 

From the high feminine English lilt, he doesn’t even have to look up to know who has arrived.  
Maybe he really should consider changing his locks.

Ben flinches and glares when Jyn shoves her phone in his face. 

“Watch what you’re doing, you almost took my eyes out,” he snaps but the short, tiny brunette ignores him and waves her phone insistently, eyes ordering him to take her phone.

“Look! My god! Ben _fucking_ Solo! Just fucking look! It’s ReyOfSunshine!”

“What the fuck is that?”

Jyn huffs. “It’s the Brit vlogger who helped me make a casserole!” 

_Oh, the vlogger._ He grimaces but Jyn probably has the eyes of a cat because she spots it before waving the phone urgently in his face once more. 

“You’ve got to watch it! Like now! She mentioned you in her latest video!” 

He rolls his eyes and the helpless look that Cassian shoots his way makes him groan. With a dark scowl painted on his face, he takes the phone from her and clicks on the ‘play’ button to view the section that she desperately wants him to see.. 

Focusing his eyes on the screen, he watches as a brunette with short curls and bright hazel eyes begins talking. _‘So, lastly, over the weekend, my best friend, Rose introduced me to this singer on Youtube and I’ve been obsessed with his voice and the covers that he does…’_

Ben finds that this vlogger is actually quite attractive.

When she continues to describe the covers he does and how much she’d binged all of them in one night, he can feel his face beginning to heat up. He’s pretty sure under his hair, the tips of his ears are burning bright red.

Beside him, he’s a hundred percent sure Cassian is smirking and his wife is having a heart attack, but Ben doesn’t care. Especially not when the brunette continues to talk, her smile brightening the room.

 _‘And all I can say is that he has such an amazing take on all these songs and you guys should really check him out,’_ she tells her listeners, hands gesturing eagerly as she smiles into the camera.

He ignores Jyn’s smug prattling when he makes her replay the video so that he can actually pay attention to what the vlogger is saying. When the clip ends, he catches note of her username below. 

_ReyOfSunshine._

How apt. 

His heart skips a beat and his mouth feels incredibly dry and so, he takes note of the email address in the description box, brain mentally crafting a suitable response.

* * * *

Rey blinks. 

She can’t actually be seeing this in her email, can she?

You have an email from **thisiskyloren@gmail.com**

Chewing on her bottom lip, she hovers over the icon and with a quick inhale, she clicks on it. Heart racing, she scans the contents of the email rapidly and the last line makes her breath catch in her throat.

“What is that?” Rose questions, as she peers over her shoulder. “Oh my god, is that Kylo Ren?” 

She nods numbly. The next thing she knows, Rose is screaming her head off, snatching her phone out of her hands and begins jumping enthusiastically, eyes scanning along the polite but concise email.

“Kylo Ren contacted you? Oh my god! I can’t believe it! REY!” 

“Rose! It’s close to midnight! The neighbours will complain!”

“Pssh, who cares? Especially when _ThisIsKyloRen_ emailed you on the video you did last weekend!” Rose grins maniacally. “And this last line! _‘I would be highly interested in hearing more from you. Looking forward to your response.’_ If that’s not an invitation to get to know you more, you can call me an idiot.”

Heat blooms in her cheeks and Rey grabs the phone away from a smirking Rose. “It’s not like that. He probably doesn’t need to hear any more spazzing about his songs. It’s a perfectly perfunctory email that acknowledges the free advertising I’ve given him for mentioning his channel.” 

Once the words have left her mouth, she cringes. God, the excuse sounded ridiculous, even to her own ears. 

From the look on Rose’s face, it is clearly obvious to her too. 

Flushing, she turns away and begins crafting a reply, ignoring Rose’s shark-like smirk.

> _Dear Kylo Ren,_
> 
> _Thank you for the prompt response and I am really thrilled that you’ve enjoyed it! It was a pleasure and I can’t say enough how much I enjoyed your videos and..._

* * * * *

It’s probably about two weeks of exchanging emails in quick succession before Rey finds out Kylo Ren is only a stage name. Ben Solo is his real name and Rey finds she prefers his birth name. It’s more fitting for the man who adores Tolkien and George R. R. Martin and is allergic to dogs.

Apart from everything he’s shared, she learns that he is based in Los Angeles, California and is currently thirty-one years old (thanks to the extensive Googling skills Rose has). 

Things get more interesting when the next email she receives has his phone number in it.

And now, a month later Rey has no idea what life was like without texting Ben Solo. Despite having an eight hour difference between London and Los Angeles, not a day goes by without at least a series of conversations and witty barbs which leaves her snorting and rolling her eyes.

Who would’ve guessed that broody song singer Kylo Ren would be so ridiculously dry and witty in real life?

To add on, Rey had been informed with how Ben had come across her channel. Apparently, his best friend’s wife was a huge fan of hers and had been so excited when he had been mentioned in one of her videos. 

Despite the sarcasm and dry tone that is infused into his text, it was clear to Rey that his friends meant the world to him. In fact, they’d become a constant part of their conversation, resulting in some video inspiration for the last four posts she’d made.

In turn, she had provided Ben some song choices seeing as they had the same taste in music.

Already, they had created quite a stir on the Internet and in the Youtube community due to their mentioning of each other on their respective channels. But all of that didn’t bother her. 

Privacy is something Rey treasures immensely. People often remark it’s a strange contradiction considering her career on a social media platform, but nonetheless, she often does her best to keep both lives separate. Hence, why there is an utter lack of addressing any questions or comments about personal issues on her vlog.

Sipping from her berry smoothie, she opens her laptop and begins scrolling through her emails, scanning them from advertisements and potential sponsors, then moving onto the comments and queries from her channel. A notification pop-up alerts her of a new video from Ben’s channel. It makes her eyes widen and excitedly, she clicks on the link.

The first thing she sees is Ben’s face, his mouth set into a sulky twist before he begins to talk. Stupidly, her heart pounds at that very sight. _‘So, this is another song ReyOfSunshine recommended and, as you know from the past three videos, she has amazing song choices...’_

Rey snorts, huffing as she pushes an errant curl behind her ear. Damn right, she has amazing song choices.

Ben had argued profusely, wanting nothing to do with alternative bands, claiming them ‘too hipster’ until she’d forced him to listen to _The Neighbourhood._ Afterward, he’d grudgingly accepted it and began doing covers. He was still salty, grouchy and curt in his messages whenever she’d brought it up, but Rey didn’t care. She had bragging rights and that was more than enough for her.

As Ben sings, deep voice crooning into the microphone, he opens his eyes and stares right into the camera for more than two seconds—something he’d never done before.

Rey feels a thrill shoot down her spine and her heart skips a beat. 

Bloody hell, it is as if he is singing to her.

The sultry way he sings causes goosebumps to prickle over her flesh and Rey watches in utmost fascination at his mouth—plump lush lips shaping each word—then at his throat, which moves so enticingly. 

Again, her eyes dart up to his face and she inhales sharply when she notes that his eyes are fixed on the camera once more. 

She can feel her pulse racing, blood pumping through her veins furiously as she continues to watch him—at the beauty marks on his face, the rough stubble lining his jaw and the way his hair seemed to fall artfully over his forehead. 

The sharp shrill of her phone startles her and Rey blinks rapidly, turning away from the screen in front of her.

> **Ben:** So? What do you think?

Pensively, she chews her bottom lip. Really, what can she say?

> **Rey:** It’s great as usual, plus the whole staring into the camera thing. That’s new. And damn right my song recommendations are great! ;)

There. That was good, right? It doesn’t seem as though she is lusting over him and his voice nor does it convey the insane crush she has for freaking Ben Solo.

Her phone screen lights up and quickly she grabs it.

> **Ben:** Whatever
> 
> **Rey:** You’re grumpy today. What’s up?
> 
> **Ben:** It’s fucking seven in the morning here. Anyway, you don’t mind when I’m grumpy, do you?

Eyes widening, Rey stares at her phone.

Is he flirting with her?

He can’t be. Ben Solo cannot be flirting with her. Why would he? She’d seen the comments section and most of his fanbase were definitely crushing on him. Why would he go after her? She was a plain Jane—a nobody.

As if to prove a point, she scrolls down. As usual, there are the regular comments of him being ‘insanely hot’, ‘cute af’, and the regular ‘I love you so much!’. 

Feeling an uncomfortable lurch in her gut, her cursor moves towards the small red button to close the browser when a particular comment catches her eye.

> **PavaJess:** OMG!! I totally ship Reylo! It’s happening, you guys!!!’

What astounds her is the fact this particular comment has more than a thousand thumbs up.

First, Rey scrunches her face. What the hell is a Reylo? Secondly, why would it be in the comments section? 

Shaking her head, she closes down the browser and fires off a response to Ben’s text.

> **Rey:** Yeah sureee, if that makes you sleep well! ;) 

Without any hesitation, she presses the send button, cheeks flaming as she scrambles out of her seat, not wanting to be around when Ben responds.

Fuck, she has it so bad for the blasted man. 

* * * * *

“Ben, you know what?”

“What?” he mutters, barely paying attention as his thumbs fly over the screen of his phone. 

Rey was texting him, informing him about some _Game of Thrones_ spoilers for the upcoming season which she claimed to be life-changing. Honestly, he doesn’t care much about it—spoilers were so not a thing in his dictionary—but Rey’s excitement is terribly infectious and without missing a beat, he supplied something he heard about the show in return.

“There’s something on your face,” Cassian points out.

“What?” At that he looks up, furrowing his brows. “What’s on my face?”

His best mate pauses, tilting his head. “A smile!” 

Ben growls and turns away. “Fuck off, you ass.” 

Immediately, Cassian bursts into raucous laughter. Jyn rolls her eyes as she shrugs his arm off her shoulders. 

“Ben, he’s playing with you. But seriously, are you still texting Rey?”

He avoids his friends’ knowing grins and instead, focuses on the potted plant near the café doors. “Are we done?”

Jyn smirks, leaning back onto the seat. “I really should be a matchmaker.”

Acutely, he can feel his ears turning red and he slouches further into his seat. “Fuck off, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Both of his friends exchange incredulous glances and Jyn snorts. “Solo, you’ve been in contact with her ever since she dropped that first video about you. And you’re well, _you_ -“

Cassian picks up where his wife ended, “-and you, my best mate, don’t like people. So the fact that you’re talking to this woman over an ocean for two whole months and counting speaks volumes!”

“I hate it when you do that thing where you finish each other’s sentences,” he grumbles, shoving his phone into his back pocket to avoid anymore ribbing from the pair.

“Well, he isn’t denying it,” Jyn points out, brown eyes twinkling and Ben flushes even more and to avoid responding, he takes a long greedy sip from his iced mocha.

It is about an hour later when he gets home and quickly, he slips his phone out, eyes scanning through his notifications, looking for a message from Rey when the most recent one sends his eyebrows reaching the top of his forehead.

> **Rey:** Do you wanna FaceTime? My fingers are tired from typing :/

Ben swallows hard, fingers growing clammy before he fires off a one-word response and sinks down onto his couch.

It isn’t five minutes that pass when his phone rings and hastily, he runs his hands through his hair before pressing the green icon while his heart thunders an unsteady beat in his chest.

What seems like an eternity passes when her face appears and his heart stops.

“Hi,” she grins, looking a little tired but to Ben, he thinks that she’s absolutely gorgeous.

“Hi,” he replies, voice a little hoarse before he quickly clears his throat. “Sorry, it’s probably midnight there in London.” 

Rey beams and from the close proximity, he can actually see some smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose and the apples of her cheeks and that her eyes weren’t just a shade of light brown, they were a mix of hazel and green. 

To think that he wouldn’t know any of these small details if he’d only continued texting her and watching her videos on Youtube makes him flush.

Ben swallows hard before licking his dry lips.

“It’s totally fine! It’s just been a long day and I didn’t think I could continue texting you when my hands feel like they’re numb!”

He allows her English accent to wash over him and hearing it now, face-to-face was definitely different from merely watching her vlogging videos. 

“Oh, did you do that baking challenge thing with Rose today?”

The moment those words fly out from his mouth, he inwardly winces. Fuck, Rey is going to think he was a creep for remembering something like that when she’d mentioned it via text a few days ago.

He isn’t about to admit to anyone that he actually rereads their conversations to ensure he hasn’t missed anything or forgotten any small detail.

Surprise flashes across her face, eyes lighting up. “Yes! We did! It was really fun and now we have too many biscuit lying around but it was great!”

He nods. “I would like a biscuit if you ever want to bake again.”

Rey grins, a dimple showing on her left cheek and his stomach clenches—in a nice way. “Sure! What’s your favourite?”

Shrugging, he settles further back on his seat and runs his hand through his hair. “Chocolate chip with raisins.”

“Raisins?” Rey looks aghast and he can’t help but snort at the face that she makes.

“Raisins,” he confirms, enjoying the way Rey seems appalled at his taste in desserts.

“But- that’s just…awful!” She exclaims, scrunching up her nose. “That’s- _Ben!”_

He can’t quite stop himself from imagining another scenario where she would say his name like that. Said scenario that has her cheeks flushed and her head tossed back onto the pillows when his mouth would glide down her body, lips trailing down her navel before skimming down-

“Ugh, you’re sick,” she declares and he stops, blinking.

She can’t have known where his thoughts have gone to, could she?

“Your taste in biscuits absolutely disgusts me, Solo. Raisins? Honestly.” 

Instantaneously, reliefs sags through him. Rey wasn’t referring to the indecent filthy depraved thoughts he has about her. She can’t have known about them considering he hadn’t said anything out loud.

“Fight me,” he remarks, as he tries to will his blush away. “But you can never change my raisin loving ass.”

Rey snorts, and his view of her is suddenly obstructed but her face comes back soon enough and this time-oh, this time, she’s leaning down and he can clearly see a hint of her cleavage. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“Sorry about that,” Rey grins sheepishly. “I got tired of my couch so now I’m in bed.”

“Oh?”

Goddamnit, did his voice have to get stuck in his throat and did it have to sound so hoarse?

“Uh huh,” Rey nods and Ben doesn’t think he can ever forget the sight of her lying in bed, face warmed by the bedside lamp and her curls arranged around her head like a halo.

His fantasy was coming to life. 

Well, sort of. 

“Anyway,” she pauses, tilting her head. “What did you get up to today?”

Clearing his throat for what seems like the thousandth time ever since they’ve started FaceTiming, he tells her about his day – how Jyn had managed to make some macaroni and cheese thing despite her lack of skills in the kitchen and how he’d managed to get some sponsors for his next videos.

Rey listens, nodding and offering her inputs and he knows his eyes often drift to her lips when she speaks because he is nothing but an infatuated puppy at this point in time.

Fuck, he was behaving like a schoolboy with a crush.

“You know,” she begins when there’s a comfortable lull in their conversation, a smile tugging on the corner of her lips. “Seeing you like this isn’t at all what I thought it would be like because your videos are all in your usual black and white filters.”

At this, he rolls his eyes as a burgeoning smile settles on his mouth.

Rey had been poking fun at his choice to keep his videos in the exact same filters, but he had archly claimed that they helped in maintaining his aesthetic as a cover singer.

“Sadly, I can’t say the same,” he deadpans as he gets up from his couch and enters the kitchen. “You’re as cheerful and chirpy in your videos.”

“Hey! Well, you’re still an old grouch!” 

Ben raises a brow in question and Rey grins resting her chin on her palm as she settles onto her stomach on the bed. It takes all of his strength to not look at her chest and to instead focus on getting his soda out of the refrigerator.

“A grouch?”

“Yep! Anyway, what song are you going to cover this week?”

He pauses, wondering if he should even share it but the hell with it, Rey would know when the video is uploaded and he might as well share it with her now.

“It’s _I Need My Girl_ by _The National_ ,” he says quietly and watches pensively as Rey stills, cocking her head to her side.

“Wow, that’s a love song isn’t it?” She nods as those eyes of her dart back to his curiously. “Really moving and all.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles awkwardly as he sets the can onto the counter. And as Rey begins humming the tune of that song, he knows Cassian and Jyn Andor are right. 

He definitely has it bad for Rey. 

* * * * *

> **QiRaRa:** Oh my god! Reylo is definitely happening!
> 
> **PavaJess:** Right??? That song was definitely for her!! Ahhh omg this is so cute!! THE VIBES
> 
> **KoR_326:** Are they together? I wouldn’t blame Ren, ReyOfSunshine is pretty hot
> 
> **PavaJess:** @QiRaRa it definitely all started on her channel!!
> 
> **KayKoCo:** It’s a shame they live on two different continents. They’re pretty cute
> 
> **QiRaRa:** @PavaJess Ever since she’d rec him, they’ve been talking on each other’s channel
> 
> **PagerT:** THEY ARE ACTUALLY FOLLOWING EACH OTHER ON INSTAGRAM AND TWITTER!!
> 
> **Dryden_VMan:** Who the fuck cares about fucking Reylo??
> 
> **KorrrrSella:** Wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up together. They paint a rather good picture of the typical romance trope that’s around.
> 
> **TheBestPilot:** Probably, but Rey is in London and Ren is in LA
> 
> **GHuxArmitager:** Shut the fuck up about your reylo trash! All of you are highly ridiculous for wanting people together when it is none of your fucking business
> 
> **PagerT:** Waittttt, wasn’t he dating BazineNatel??? 
> 
> **PavaJess:** Nahhh they weren’t! Apparently, she cooked up the whole story to gain a larger fanbase. What an attention seeking bitch
> 
> **PagerT:** lmaoo what a surprise loll I bet Rey is way better! I always watch her videos and she’s genuinely great and sweet!!
> 
> **K2SO_Bot:** Met ReyOfSunshine once in London and she was brilliant
> 
> **Hakuna-Mitaka:** idk about this reylo thing but Kylo Ren seems to have different song choices now…
> 
> **GHuxArmitager:** Get the fuck out of here @Hakuna-Mitaka
> 
> **CaptainGwenP:** What kind of username is that?? @Hakuna-Mitaka
> 
> **PavaJess:** @QiRaRa OH YES! That’s how it all began!! After I think they might have communicated and I bet they’re still talking now!! OMFG!!!
> 
> **KayKoCo:** Oh my god! Just watched the latest videos ThisIsKyloRen has been posting and I swear I ship them so hard nowwwww
> 
> **JamiliaaaII:** *hearteyes* argghh with how hot Kylo is and how gorgeous Rey is, they’re perfect!!!
> 
> **PavaJess:** Right??? Reylo is the REAL THING!!
> 
> **JamiliaaaII:** can’t wait to see how things progress on her channel!!
> 
> **QiRaRa:** have to wait and see lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you guys enjoyed it! I would love to know what you guys think! Kudos and comments mean the world to me! :) Love you guys! ♥♥♥ 
> 
> You can find me at [starr-destroyer](https://starr-destroyer.tumblr.com) on tumblr! :)
> 
> Plus, I've made the two YouTube gif things; don't steal or repost! Thanks!


	2. Rise of Reylo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for this late update! Real life caught me and I was pushing myself to finish AJLT before I continued writing this because I _know_ I'll get distracted ugh. But I'M BACK! 
> 
> Enjoy! <3 
> 
> This chapter is betaed by [Sage babe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae) and she too, has made this lovely moodboard!

**Chapter 2 | The Rise of Reylo**

“Ahem, ahem.”

Rey stifles a snort as she turns a page of her book. Rose’s attempts of fake-coughing are (at best) terrible and rather obvious.

_“Ahem, ahem.”_

She wonders how much longer she can pretend her best mate isn’t trying to grab her attention. Suddenly, her phone vibrates beside her and setting her book aside, she picks it up. As always, a smile tugs on her lips to see the sender.

> **Ben:** Yeah, well morning. And what did you think?

Subtly, she glances at Rose from the corner of her eyes and quickly types out a response, fingers flying over the keys.

> **Rey:** Good morning to you too! ;) And truthfully? It was shit. Just bloody awful :/

“AHEM, AHEM!”

“Yes, Rose?” Rey finally answers, giving a bright grin to her friend who is red in the face from all the fake-coughing she’d been doing. 

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“Yes, but-“

“Oh, never mind. You were all distracted texting Ben, so that adds up as to why you’re ignoring me.”

Acutely, Rey feels a flush creeping on her cheeks and hastily, she clears her throat, tucking a curl behind her ear. “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her best mate huffs and hops onto the sofa beside her, the cushions shifting from the sudden weight and Rey blinks as a knowing exasperated smile greets her.

“Rey, sweetie, are you really denying this to me?” Rose lifts an eyebrow. “I’m your best friend. I think I know everything there is to know about you. In short, I know you inside and out.”

She wrinkles her nose and grimaces. “Rose, that’s a little gross and if taken out of context, it sounds horrifying.”

“Whatever, but don’t change the subject. What’s going on with you and Hotpants Solo?”

_“Hotpants Solo?”_

“Yes. You’ve been texting him for the past three months, he’s all that you can talk about and don’t think I don’t know about those Skype calls!” 

“Actually, it’s FaceTime,” Rey corrects and slumps back into the soft leather of the worn out couch. “We don’t use Skype. And we don’t text as much as you like to think we do.”

As though the universe is against her, her phone buzzes and without looking, Rey knows Ben has replied. Rapidly, she reaches for it before Rose can see it. Her fingers are almost reaching the plastic casing–

–only to be beaten by Rose who snatches it away with lightning speed. 

“HA! Look who it is! Ben Solo!” She crows in smug delight, dark eyes glinting with glee. “Rey, I don’t know why you’re trying to deny that there’s anything going on.”

“I’m not! Because there really is nothing going on!” She runs a hand through her hair. “He’s just recommending me movies and I didn’t like the last one he sent. I mean, _Inglorious Bastards_ , really? I told him I wasn’t into war movies.”

Rose raises her brows and offers her a skeptical smile. “Please don’t tell me you’ve gotten into a relationship without knowing that you’re in one. Because I can totally see that happening to you. Like right now.”

At that, her eyes widen and she gawks stupidly at her best mate. “What? What makes you say that?” she asks incredulously although something in her chest tightens and her gut feels all giddy and swoop-y as though she’s on a high.

Her friend leans over and raises an outstretched palm. “Firstly, the both of you text everyday.” Rose ticks off a finger. “Like not text, but text. I mean Finn and I have been together for three years and even we don’t text a thousand messages in a single day. Let alone in a month.”

“We’ve never done that,” Rey protests weakly but Rose waves her off.

“Secondly, he always asks for your opinions on his videos immediately after he uploads them, and funnily enough, you do the same.”

“That’s because we critique them and it’s only natural if we ask about the overall quality.” Rey is trying, she really is. But the look—the very look Rose gives makes her falter and second guess everything.

“Right,” Rose rolls her eyes as she cocks her head.

“And it’s odd but, the two of you are just…completely _oblivious_ to everything. I know something’s going on. His friends know that something is going on. Hell, even the Internet knows that there’s something going on!”

“What? _The Internet?”_

Rose chokes and furrows her brows. “Do you not read your comments?”

She shrugs and fiddles with the hem of her jumper while shaking her head profusely. “No, not in detail. I just mostly…skim through them,” she admits quietly.

“Rey,” Rose groans, dragging a palm over her face in what seems like exasperation. “They call you two, _Reylo._ ” 

“Reylo?” she repeats incredulously. “What’s that?”

“It’s your name and Ben’s stage name combined,” Rose offers cheekily. “You know, _Rey_ and _Kylo_. Add them together and you get _Reylo._ ”

“Oh.” 

So that was what that word meant. She’d begun seeing it everywhere. In her comments section, her Twitter feed, Ben’s comment section, hell, she’d even seen the name in other YouTube videos. And up until now, she had no idea what any of it meant. 

Now she knows. And her cheeks burn from the implications of what it all means.

There isn’t a doubt Ben would have received similar comments. Did he know about it? How faceless people on the Internet are already hoping and thinking that they’re in a relationship?

God, she doesn’t even know what to think about all this.

But of course, everything would be simpler—easier if Rey didn’t have a huge thing for him. She knows from past experiences what she feels for the man isn’t a mere crush but rather, something else entirely.

However, she doesn’t want to go into that now. Or maybe ever. 

This friendship, or whatever they are or have, is already complicated on its own. And the fact that there’s a giant whopping sea between where they live is a problem in itself.

Having a clean line and labels? That’s going to mess everything up. 

So, okay. Maybe she has thought about furthering things with Ben about 18,342,048,290,342 times. But it’s not like Rey would ever admit that. Not to anyone, not to Rose, and especially not to herself.

She already has a small inkling that what she feels isn’t entirely one-sided. 

She would be a total idiot to not notice the lingering stares on her mouth, the way he swallows harshly when the neckline of her shirt dips, revealing a hint of her cleavage (yes, those incidents are always intentional) or how he quickly looks away at times.

However, other than that, there isn’t anything else to show or prove what he feels. Hence, there is nothing to discuss. Period.

“Nothing is going on,” she insists stubbornly despite Rose’s moans of annoyance.

There is nothing going on, right? Rey would know.

But there is a part of her, a huge part of her that wishes Ben would say something, or that she would have the nerves to express what she’d felt. 

Nevertheless, she doesn’t. 

Rey refuses to risk ruining the friendship she shares with Ben. He’s one of the highlights of her days, with his dry humour, sarcastic quips and his broody self. It’s hard to explain how a man she’d never known of has become such a huge part of her life in only three months.

Somehow, Ben just…gets her. And she, him. And that’s all she can say on the matter.

As Rey tries to ignore Rose’s ramblings and theories about her so-called relationship with Ben, she can’t ignore the longing in her gut. The longing for him. For them to be something _more_. 

Even though she knows it’s impossible.

* * * * *

Ben doesn’t think that his life is hard until he’s tasked with ensuring his eyes do not stray away from Rey’s face. 

“How’s California now?”

“It’s alright,” he offers as he runs his fingers through his hair, voice slightly distorted from the wavering connection of this particular FaceTime connection. “And I appreciated the biscuits,” he grins and picks up the small red tin and waves it in front of the camera.

Yesterday, arriving home from the grocers, he’d come home to the package. To his utter delight and some form of emotion rising in his chest, he’d slowly eaten the chocolate-chip raisin biscuits, unwilling to devour them quickly—wanting to savour them one by one.

Rey made them and sent them over. He appreciated the sentiment more than she would know.

 _Don’t look. Don’t look,_ his mind chants as Rey shifts and he knows there is an enticing shadow at the neckline of her top.

“Ohh that’s great! But I’ll have you know that I was greatly horrified to have put those raisins in there.” 

He snorts and is about to reply with something when the front door burst open and he jumps violently. Meanwhile, Rey who can hear everything, frowns and moves closer to her screen as though that very action can give her a better view of his room.

“Ben? What’s going on? Who’s that? Are you being robbed? I can call the cops for you even though I’m here!” She rambles urgently, concern and worry painting her features.

Ben has lived here long enough to know what’s going on and who’s currently in his house. And not for the first time, he wishes that he’d never given the spare keys to his best mate.

“No, don’t worry, it’s just Cassian or Jyn, or both of them,” he replies grumpily. Dammnit. Really, must they be around now? 

“SOLO!” Jyn bellows and he can hear Rey chuckling from her end. 

“What?” he snaps and shoots an apologetic glance to Rey, “I’m sorry, it’s just Jyn. Give me a minute.” 

With that, he shuffles out of his study and glares at the Andors. “What the fuck are you guys doing here?” 

Jyn huffs and blows her bangs out of her eyes before cocking her head. “Well, hello to you too, Ben. No ‘Oh it’s great to see you, Jyn’? or ‘Thank you Cassian for bringing me dinner and I’m sorry for being an ungrateful arse’ or anything nice?”

A heavy sigh escapes him and a twinge of guilt hits him for being horribly rude. “Hello and thanks,” he mumbles but glances distractedly back to his study where Rey is waiting.

Cassian, being his best mate can clearly read his mind and raises a brow. “What’s up? Wait…is Rey on the line?”

Flushing, he ducks his head and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah and I’ll like to get back to that-“

“Oh really? I want to talk to her again!” Jyn demands excitedly, brushing past him and into his study before he can even protest or make up some excuse.

Exasperatedly, he follows after the brunette who is now chatting with Rey, exchanging gasps and laughter. Their English accents washing over the room and Ben blinks, once again being reminded Jyn was born in England, Birmingham. 

Grudgingly, he hovers beside Jyn and watches as Rey talks about some incident that had happened in London the other day and Cassian had made sympathetic noises while Jyn prattles on. 

This isn’t the first time Rey has talked to his friends. The last time, Jyn and Rey bonded over their mutual love for period dramas and both cried buckets just from talking about some recent movie appearing in the cinemas.

He’s totally content to sit and simply listen to Rey and watch how she’s interacting with his closest friends. He admires the different shades of brown in her hair, highlighted by the warm yellow light emanated from the lamp on her left, the myriad of expressions that appear on her face, and how she uses her hands to gesture wildly when she’s sharing about something passionate or exciting.

He’s probably a creep for noting all of this and committing it to memory, he muses. But it’s not like anyone else knows what goes on in his head, or the fantasies he has about her. And well, as long no one knows, it’s all good.

Everything is going fine until Rey mentions how the cool weather in London is killing her and gosh, how she wishes she is somewhere warmer. 

“Hey, why don’t you pop by L.A for a while,” Cassian offers and everyone goes quiet. 

Ben finds himself freezing as his mind goes off on a panic rampage. Involuntarily, all the reasons why Rey should not step foot here appears and they are all rushing around his head with dizzying speed. But his heart…it pounds unsteadily in his chest and his palms start to sweat.

Cassian bringing the idea up makes the repressed longing Ben has for Rey to surface. Now, all he wants is to see Rey in person. 

But the consequences from it happening are too high. 

“L.A?” Rey repeats, looking thoughtful as she turns the idea over in her mind. “That’s not too bad. I can stay in a hotel-“

“No!” Jyn interrupts as she straightens in her seat. “You can stay at Ben’s! He has a spare room! You can bunk there and you can stay for three weeks and God, we can show you around and have tea, not coffee, of course. Bloody Americans,” she says fondly while giving a loaded look to Cassian. “Say yes! It’ll be great if you could come.”

Rey staying with him for three whole weeks? His throat goes dry and he sneaks a glance at Rey to see that her eyes are already on his.

“I…” she hesitates, those brown hazel eyes never leaving his. “I don’t want to be a bother,” she murmurs as she tucks her hair behind her ears. 

“Nonsense,” Cassian grins broadly and pats his palm on Ben’s back. “We would be extremely glad to be your tour guides and Ben wouldn’t mind. He’d love to see you come.”

His eyes shoot towards his best mate at the double meaning of his words and even though he’s of the age where sex is normal, he feels the tips of his ears _burn_. In return, Cassian gives him a subtle knowing glance and Ben can’t decide if he should thank him or kick him.

“Honestly, Ben, would you mind? It’s okay if you don’t want to and I’ll totally understand-“

From the way she looks at him, he knows she’s checking to ensure he really doesn’t mind and…that he wants her to be here with him. Even though it’s just for three weeks.

Ben thinks he knows her well enough to understand.

“Rey, it’d be my pleasure if you came by,” he offers sincerely. When the words leave his mouth, he realises he means it. He really does want her to visit him here.

However, from the pinking of her cheeks and the way she ducks her head down and peers at him through her lashes, the way he’d phrased what he’d said definitely had a second meaning to them if one took it that way. 

“I…uhm…” he trails off awkwardly, wishing the fucking ground would swallow him up and take away his memories of this ever happening but all that fades when Rey gives him a small shy grin.

“Ahem, ahem,” Jyn coughs into her hand and he blinks, turning to his side and it’s only then when he remembers that Rey and he have an audience.

It should aggravate him that his friends are giving him identical smirks on their faces. But it doesn’t.

“Right,” Rey begins hastily, the blush on her cheeks not quite fading, “I’ll check my schedule and I’ll get back to you guys, but I think next month should be alright.”

“Great!” Jyn cheers. “It’s set! Oh, oh! We can go to the Santa Monica Pier, Disneyland, Venice Beach, oh my God! Oh, what about the-“

When Jyn shows she’s not stopping anytime soon, he tunes her out and steals another glance at Rey and again, he finds that she’s looking at him.

His heart skips a beat and he doesn’t look away.

* * * * *

Rey grins into the camera of her iPhone. Really, the new update on Instagram that allows live streaming is definitely way better and more fun. It was a great chance to interact with others on a more informal level. In a sense, it is a lot like a real-life conversation.

“So, I’ve decided to let you guys decide what my video for this week is. So hit me up with suggestions, loves!” she says as she rests her chin on her palm. “And if I like more than a single suggestion, I might use it for future videos.”

She starts to laugh at some of the ideas her followers give. One of them being a fast food eating challenge, some wanted a house tour while there were a few others who wanted beauty tutorials. 

“Beauty tutorials? But I’m hardly an expert,” she replies to the sudden barrage of replies on her screen. “I hardly ever put on makeup, except for the odd lipstick here and there.”

> **@JustJess** : But you’re so pretty! I love that red lip you’ve got on

Her cheeks flush. “Thank you JustJess. It’s my favourite lipstick and it’s from MAC.”

Shifting on her seat, she cocks her head and frowns. “Actually, I just remembered. I don't have any videos up for the next three weeks….”

In response to the messages, which are appearing in quick succession she hardly has the time to read all of them, she shrugs and grins. “I’m going on holiday for three weeks but don’t worry! I’ll be having updates on my Instagram feed and I’m super excited, you guys!” 

However she tenses a little when her viewers start to ask about the location of her holiday. Should she answer them? Already, there are quite a lot of rumours and gossip about her relationship with Ben and she knows things will get more heated if she reveals that she’s going to L.A. 

People aren’t dumb and surely they will put the pieces together.

To add on, she’s nervous and apprehensive enough about this whole trip. Three weeks with Ben? Staying together in his apartment? She doesn’t know what it will do to her. To have him so close and not being able to do anything about it seems like torture.

But a voice, that sounds suspiciously close to Rose’s in her mind, advises Rey to take things one day at a time. There really isn’t any point in worrying about things that have not happened and may not even occur.

Furthermore, who’s to say that she won’t be recognised in L.A. anyway?

“Oh, I’ll be going to L.A. and I’ll be staying with a…uh… friend. And it’s going to be so exciting because I’ve never left London before,” she says with a laugh. “And you guys know that I never go for those conventions so I’m really excited about this trip.”

Her smile tightens a little when she sees the sudden influx of comments on the bottom of her screen.

> **@SarlaacLinds** : WHAT? L.A? OH MY GOD!!!!!! REYLO
> 
> **@DinvadeL** : REYLO REYLO REYLO!!!! OH MYYY!!!!
> 
> **@KyloBRenStan** : Wait are you going to visit Kylo Ren?? He’s in LA! Oh my god are you going to stay with him?
> 
> **@GaloreRia** : IS KYLO REN THE FRIEND YOU’RE GOING TO STAY WITH???!!!
> 
> **@CBucketCourt** : is reylo actually happening now in front of us??? OSDDJKSDJ
> 
> **@SpaceNun23** : Are you and Kylo Ren together??? I can’t believe this is happening!!
> 
> **@WookieSage** : LA?? Are you going to see Kylo Ren? You guys look so good together!!

Rey is pretty sure she looks like a cornered bunny right now but she pushes all thoughts away from her mind before she shrugs them off and forces a weak laugh. “Ah yes, Kylo and I are friends and anyway, I might actually visit all the touristy spots but nonetheless, I would love to hear more venues and attractions on where to go!”

It is a pretty obvious deflection but she’s never been good at changing topics. Rey really hopes she isn’t adding more fuel to a fire.

* * * * *

>   
>  **PavaJess:** HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THAT VIDEO REY POSTED AN HOUR AGO????
> 
> **PagerT:** YES YES YES!!!
> 
> **PavaJess:** I bet you my entire life savings that they’re seeing each other! Like how coincidental is it that Rey is going to LA??? So, of course, she’s going to see KYLO!!!!!!!
> 
> **QiRaRa:** I screamed when I saw that insta vid oh my god! Is reylo actually happening right now?? And that we all called it??
> 
> **PagerT:** RIGHT?! Like hello, Kylo Ren freaking lives in LA and omg did you hear that part where she paused over the word ‘friend’? OMG she’s going to stay with him in his apartment!! IM GONNA DIE!!
> 
> **KayKoCO:** you noticed that too??? I freaked the fuck out when I saw that!! Plus did you see how she hesitated before she told us where she was gonna go?? Like if that’s not reylo happening, then what is?? @PagerT
> 
> **QiRaRa:** Omg that really happened? Fuck!! I got to watch that video again
> 
> **PavaJess:** I still can’t believe this is happening! Can you guys imagine all the cute couple-y stuff they’re going to do together for that 3 weeks??
> 
> **PagerT:** Oh myyyyyy!!! Wait WHAT IF THEY’RE GOING TO BANG SJASJALKSJKLAS
> 
> **KayKoCo:** I think I might actually die. Omg do you think they would post any vacation pics or hints of that sort
> 
> **QiRaRa:** Who knows? Kylo Ren is pretty private :// I won’t be surprised but my reylo heart is so full from this news!!
> 
> **PavaJess:** don’t remind me! Thinking about this is already making me giddy from excitement!! 
> 
> **PagerT:** I swear tho that if reylo isn’t happening after this LA thing, I’m going to freak and cry into my pillow :”) Like they’re so perfect for each other jkaasdkl
> 
> **KayKoCo:** DON’T JINX IT HOE!!! @PagerT
> 
> **PavaJess:** WHAT SHE SAID! But god, we just got to wait for the LA TRIP!!!! #Reylo

* * * * *

He sighs, drawing his cap further down over his head, hoping no one would spot him. He highly doubts that would happen, but he really isn’t in the mood to smile and pose for pictures if he is indeed recognised.

Again, Ben checks his watch. 

Rey’s plane should be touching down any minute. Soon enough, she will be here in person with him.

His heart begins slamming hard in his ribcage and he swallows, a hand reaching up to rub absentmindedly against his chest. It’s a weak effort to soothe his nerves, but the illusion the action gives helps.

After months of interacting through calls, texts, FaceTime sessions, Rey will be standing in front of him and that very fact sends his mind spiralling. 

How will he be able to keep his cool around her? With an ocean separating them, he already has a ridiculously hard time hiding his reactions from her. But with her staying in his apartment for the next three weeks? That will be literal hell.

What was he thinking when he agreed to host her?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

The idea of her being in such close proximity does things to him. Being able to be close to her, to touch her, to see her light up with her bright smiles, to hear her laugh in person—God, he’s fucked. There is no way he’ll be able to act cool and calm around her, as though her presence has absolutely no effect on him when it’s the clear opposite.

He is lying if he says he’d never wondered what it would be like to kiss her, to hold her close, to run his hands through those brown locks of hers, to see her in his bed writhing around in his sheets as he worships her over and over with his mouth–

No, no, no! 

He can’t think about all of that now. 

He can’t have a boner in public when Rey might make her appearance soon. 

However, how pathetic is he to have strong feelings for a woman who he can’t have. Because that’s exactly what’s happening. He can’t ruin this friendship he has with Rey. He just can’t.

Ben knows he isn’t a people person. He doesn’t like socialising much, nor does he do well with new people. Hell, Cassian and Jyn are basically the only two friends he has.

But Rey? 

Somehow, she’d become such a critical part of his life. To think it would be taken away because he can’t control his thoughts and feelings? Fuck no. 

No, his friendship with Rey means more than anything to him. Because of that, he would do anything—everything to ensure nothing ruins it, including himself.

“Ben!”

Abruptly, his head whips up and there she is.

Instantaneously, he swallows the lump of nerves in his throat and removes his sunglasses.

Rey is dragging a red medium-sized luggage behind her and what she’s wearing makes his mouth go dry. A bright yellow sundress clings to her torso before flaring slightly at her waist. Her shoulders are mostly bared due to the thin flimsy straps of her dress and her feet are encased in small strappy heels and his mind goes blank.

Even though he knows about this, had helped Rey plan her trip here, his mind can’t understand that she’s actually here in the States, in California—with him.

And somehow, his brain appreciates how Rey has morphed into a bright ray of sunshine amongst the sea of black and other dark colours. _ReyOfSunshine_ indeed, he thinks ruefully.

It doesn’t take long for her to reach where he’s standing and right now, he guesses that there is just four feet of space between them. Before he can say or do anything, Rey releases her luggage and closes the distance between them, arms flinging around his neck.

He can only gape and he’s pretty sure he isn’t breathing either.

Apparently, his dreams and fantasies do pale in comparison to the real thing. 

Her scent of lilacs, vanilla, honey and everything that reminds him sunshine enters his system. He thinks he might actually die from it. There is also no way he misses how she fits perfectly against him. Her soft curves are wonderfully complementary against his larger form and slowly, he hugs her back, hands pressing her closer to him.

But like all good things, they have to end eventually. Rey pulls away slightly, a warm pink flush heating up on the apples of her cheeks. 

“Hi, Ben,” she greets, red lips spread into a huge smile as she tucks her hair behind an ear. 

And with that delicate grin on her face and the scent of her in his nose, Ben Solo is utterly wrecked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and for being so utterly patient! <3 I can't wait to see what you guys think! :) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr too if you guys want to reach out! :) [@vaader](https://vaader.tumblr.com)
> 
> Also, my CaP ladies, you know who you are <3 a special shoutout to you babes <3 <3 <3
> 
> ~~_also is it bad that i kinda have another fic in the works?? oh no help me :/ but it's a dark HP au so let me know?? im kinda nervous about it tbh_ <~~


	3. What I Wish & Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's another update! First, I would like to say that the smut scene in here is definitely not very graphic because I want to focus on the emotional aspect between our space babies and the character growth. So, yeah. Plus, we're coming to the end! One more chapter and a short epilogue! :) 
> 
> This chapter is betaed by [Sage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae) who is a miracle worker for cleaning up my messes and mistakes. I love you, babe!

**Chapter 3 | What I Wish & Want**

Sure. 

She’d seen Ben before. Rey knows what he looks like based on his videos, their FaceTime chats and pictures off the Internet (back before she knew him personally).

However, none of that has prepared Rey for how intensively her body reacts when she meets him in person.

Her heart does a flip in her chest as she catches sight of him amidst the rushing crowd. Rey can’t see his eyes which are covered by a pair of sunglasses. He has a navy baseball cap pulled low over his head but there isn’t a doubt that he’s her Ben.

He’s wearing dark jeans, a form-fitted white shirt and a black jacket that defines his muscular build and broad shoulders. She’d be a liar if she said her mouth didn’t go dry or she had to blink more than once to make sure that what she’s seeing isn’t a figment of her imagination.

But goddamnit all for him looking so perfect. 

And she must be insane because without thinking twice, she rushes towards him and wraps her arms tightly around his neck. The scent of his aftershave fill her senses. Again, she really is a liar if she denies inhaling more of him in the crook of his neck. Rey closes her eyes when his hands slowly slide around her before they press on her back to bring her closer to him. 

The heat his large palms emanate sears through the thin cotton of her dress and involuntarily, she shivers. Pulling away slightly so that they are face-to-face, she studies him before smiling up into those eyes which have been the subject of many a fantasy of hers.

“Hi, Ben.”

The corner of his lips tug up as he removes his sunglasses and tucks them into neckline of his shirt. “Hi, Rey.”

The sound of his voice in person causes her stomach to erupt into butterflies and she licks her parched bottom lip before shuffling her feet nervously. Now that she’s here and he’s here in front of her, a sudden bout of shyness and awkwardness surfaces. 

What can she say and what should she do? 

“Was your flight alright?” He questions, brows arching as he turns to take the handle of her luggage for her.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she says hastily as she attempts to grab her luggage back from him. “Ben, really!” Rey snorts when he does some quick maneuvering placing himself in between her and the luggage.

“Rey, I’m your host,” he says sternly as he leads her out of the arrival hall. “And because of that, I should be the one helping you with your stuff.”

She huffs but allows a grudging grin on her face as she walks beside him. “Fine and yes, the flight was alright. I managed to catch that other film you recommended to me and this one is good, unlike the _other_ one.”

“Rude,” he mutters and she rolls her eyes before jabbing him lightly in the side, all formal decorum dissipating.

It isn’t long before they reach his apartment and Rey finds her earlier awkwardness is gone. It is easy to slip back to their normal teasing banter and never would she have suspected that Ben would have road rage.

But well, so did she.

Throughout the journey in his car, she can’t help but steal multiple glances in his direction—her eyes studying the way his mouth moves as he grimaces, smirks or when they purse when some unfortunate soul has the misfortune to cut into his lane. 

Yeah, she has it so bad.

Fuck.

His friends, Cassian and Jyn Andor are already at his apartment waiting for them—for her to be more precise—and they’re everything she thought they would be.

More sociable than Ben, Cassian pulls her into a hug before his tanned face gives her a warm smile. Then his wife, Jyn starts squealing and starts talking about a million things at once. Despite knowing them for barely three months, Rey can clearly see how Cassian simply dotes on his wife and is content to let Jyn speak on his behalf. 

Occasionally, she can’t help but snatch glimpses of Ben who is watching them with an unfathomable expression on his face. However, there is no denying the look in his eyes. That very look warms her gut and she allows herself to be pulled into conversation with Jyn who has started listing off things they could all do together and wouldn’t that be fun?

Dinner is a light-hearted affair and the Andors offer to cook. More specifically, Cassian offers while Jyn tries to help. Ben and her are on clean-up duty and when they’re finally alone in the kitchen drying up dishes, she can’t help but feel that this is all…very domesticated.

The ache in her heart while she watches Ben keeping the plates and bowls into his cupboards intensifies and she chews her lower lip hard.

Mistaking her silence, he frowns. “If you’re tired, I can get Cassian and Jyn to go now.”

“No! I’m not. I’m fine,” she says hastily as she shakes her head. “I’m just awfully stuffed and I had no idea Cassian was such a good cook.”

At that, Ben shrugs. “You should try one of his tomato-based pastas. Once you have one, you can never go back.”

Her heart does another stupid flip as he grins boyishly down at her. In this moment, all Rey wants to do is to lean closer and pull him down for a kiss.

The idea of kissing him has taken up a large space in her brain and of course, there are other filthy things in there too but mainly kissing—how his lips would feel like against hers. 

Is he the type to take control of a kiss? Hands cupping her face to angle her just right before swooping down, or would he be content to simply enjoy the act of it? Would he be a slow languid kisser or a hard urgent one? Did he like tongue?

She would admit that all these thoughts kept her up at night on more than one occasion.

Of course, Ben doesn’t do what she wants and he turns back to his task and she can only wallow in disappointment that perhaps, Ben only sees her as a friend and nothing more.

When she finally settles into bed, an idiotic part of her muses that this is definitely not going to turn out into some cliché romantic comedy film where the two characters share a bed or accidentally walk into the bathroom while the other is using it because both Ben and her are in separate rooms with their own adjoining bathrooms and a large hallway in between them.

A little despondent, she buries her head into the covers, wishing Ben was hers.

And she frowns, glaring accusingly at the sheets. Really, the least they could do was to at least smell like him.

* * * * *

“Here,” Ben murmurs as he leads them towards the pier and she scans her surroundings eagerly. The Santa Monica Pier has always been one of her top tourists’ spots on her L.A. bucket list. 

It’s been three whole days since she has been in L.A and Rey enjoyed every minute of it.

She loves the warm sunny weather, the bright sunny skies and the food and drinks and well everything. But to be perfectly honest with herself, her experience here would be infinitely better if she had the guts to confess how she feels.

On the other hand, Ben has been the perfect host, showing her around his neighbourhood, always ensuring she is well looked after and never bored. Despite all of that, Rey does notice that there seems to be some sort of barrier between them.

Mortifyingly, she wonders if Ben suspects the feelings she has for him and doesn’t reciprocate them, hence keeping a safe distance so he doesn’t give her the wrong idea.

But she knows him well enough that he’s as direct and straightforward as an arrow and would bring up any elephants in the room even though there will be consequences.

“There’s the rides, some food stalls and the games. What would you like to do first?” 

Ben had given a long-suffering sigh when she’d mentioned all the typical cheesy tourists traps she’d wanted to go to but she knows it’s all a front. He’s been stupidly shaking his head but she’d seen the amusement in his eyes.

She blinks, turning to face him before grinning. “The rides.”

“The rides,” he repeats blandly and sighs heavily, as he tugs at his baseball cap. “Of course. I take it you want to get onto the roller coaster first?”

Rey rolls her eyes and jabs him in the gut with her elbow. “Obviously, don’t be such a grump, Solo,” she chides playfully.

“Watch where you fling those pointy elbows of yours,” Ben huffs as he rubs his hand over the flat planes of his gut where she’d hit him.

She snorts and grimaces up at him. “Pointy elbows? Rude.”

“It’s true,” he retorts seriously but from the slight tug on the corner of his mouth, she can see he’s messing with her.

“Well,” she begins, arching a brow. “You have a very pointy nose,” Rey says in a matter-of-fact tone and she knows – _oh she knows_ – behind the lenses of his sunglasses, Ben is narrowing those brown of his.

Not giving him a chance to retaliate, she smirks and strides eagerly towards the queue for the ride.

As she moves, she misses the soft expression which flashes across his face as he watches her.

She doesn’t take more than five steps when she feels a large palm resting on the small of her back as he leads her through the crowds to their destination. 

“What I do know is that you seem to like this nose,” he counters lowly, head ducking down to murmur them into her ear.

Unsolicited, a blush blooms on her cheeks and despite the sunny weather, she knows Ben can see it. However, Rey isn’t one to back down from a challenge, hence, she shrugs and raises her brows. “Do I?”

Not one to be outdone, Ben stares at her unflinchingly, studying her carefully as he gazes at her through half-lidded eyes. “Do you?”

She cocks her head, her mind barely registering that they’re actually flirting. “What do you think?” she whispers.

Abruptly, Ben jerks and averts his eyes while he clears his throat. A hand reaching up to yank awkwardly at the neckline of his black shirt. “The queue for the ride is this way,” he says stoically, head facing front. 

Again, Rey can’t help but feel a little bereft from the sudden change in his mood but she soldiers on, forcing a bright smile to appear on her face as she moves.

Nevertheless, there is no mistaking the heat of his palm that is still resting on the small of her back but Rey wishes he would just slip it around her waist.

* * * * *

**Day 8**

“No.”

“Ben, please?”

“No.”

“Please? I’ve come all the way here and the least you could do is this.”

“No.”

“Solo!”

“Fine, give me the blasted thing.”

She grins triumphantly as Ben snatches the Mickey Mouse ears out of her hands before shoving it lopsidedly on his head.

“Okay, great, now we match!” She cheers as she fiddles with the Minnie Mouse ears on her head. “Wait, you didn’t put them on right, they’re crooked. Just bend down a little so I can adjust them.”

Ben sighs stiffly, body slouching, clearly reluctant but he gives into her demands anyway. Muffling a grin, Rey reaches up to adjust the ears. With Ben hunched over, she notes their faces are at the same eye-level and risking a small glance, her breath hitches to find that he’s been staring at her—has been from the start.

In her chest, her heart begins to pound and Rey wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it too from how loud the organ is being.

His eyes dart from her eyes to her mouth before meeting hers once more and she thinks she might actually combust from the pure heat in those brown irises. 

She doesn’t know when but along the way, her hands are resting on the back of his neck, fingers playing gently with the ends of his soft wavy locks.

_He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me._

Her mind is racing at dizzying speeds and she swears that their mouths are mere inches apart. They’re so close that she can see the flecks of light brown in his eyes, the lighter freckles and moles that adorn his pale face and the way his plump pink lips part ever-so-slightly.

 _This is it_ , she thinks excitedly, fingers curling into the soft cotton of his shirt. 

Ben dips his head down, eyes focusing on her lips once more and in response, she leans closer to him, feeling the heat of his body engulfing her—surrounding her.

But it doesn’t.

As soon as the moment comes, it disappears when Ben ducks his head and straightens as he takes a step back. 

Her hands fall back to her side and the sheer disappointment swamps through her. 

“Uhm…do you want to get another hotdog?” Ben asks, shuffling his feet as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly while avoiding her eyes.

No, she doesn’t want another hotdog unless it is _his_ but well, she can’t say that, can she? Not when Ben is not even looking at her, the tips of his ears turning bright red as he runs his hands through his hair. 

Except, she notices he takes careful care to not mess up the Mickey ears on his head.

“No,” she grumbles. Nonetheless, she drags him to the nearest hotdog vendor anyway.

* * * * *

**Day 12**

“Rey! Hurry!” He yells, voice muffled due to the rain beating down on them heavily.

She doesn’t respond, but dashes after him, carefully avoiding the puddles and other pedestrians who are all equally in a hurry to avoid the torrential downpour.

Ugh, really. Isn’t L.A not supposed to be rainy? Isn’t it known for it’s perpetual sunny weather? Where exactly is the rain coming from?

If she wanted rain, she might as well stayed back in London, she thinks grudgingly at her ruined shoes. Both Ben and her had been walking back to his apartment after he’d brought her to his favourite Mexican restaurant, swearing that the food would be the best she would ever eat. He isn’t wrong.

And maybe she did put in a little more effort in her appearance for the evening. She’d worn a short black dress with a lower neckline and paired it with her favourite denim jacket. But she’d always had a _thing_ for shoes and had worn low-wedge sandals. 

However, if she knew it was going to rain and that she would probably be dashing around for shelter, she would have slipped on her sneakers instead.

Honestly.

“Rey!” Ben shouts, pausing to wait for her to catch up before stretching out a hand for her.

Impulsively, she reaches for it, fingers tightening their grip on his as they run down the street together. Along the way, a breathless laugh escapes from her lungs and she can feel Ben staring at her. She doesn’t mind and allows him to lead the way to find shelter.

If Ben is still holding on to her hand—their fingers are intertwined now, she doesn’t mention it. Nor does she bring up the fact that he is now holding her hand firmly with no inclination to let go.

* * * * *

**Day 15**

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Rey,” Ben narrows his eyes as he shakes the packet of raisins threateningly in his hand. _“Yes.”_

“No! No way!”

“Yes. I wore those fucking ears for you. The raisins are fair game now.”

At that, she quietens and reluctantly snatches the packet out of his hand. “Fine. But let it be said once more, Solo. Raisins are atrocious. They do not deserve to be included in food or anything and they should stay in their natural form—grapes. Now repeat after me.”

“No.”

“Ben.”

“No. Are you going to start baking or not?” He asks, a supercilious expression appearing his face as he crosses his arms and leans against the counter.

She grimaces and scowls at him. “Fine, fine. I am. Now. Will you be helping?”

He hesitates, eyeing the bag of flour and sugar before slumping his shoulders in defeat. “Yes. But I have to admit that baking isn’t exactly my forte.”

Rey scrunches up her nose. Really, how bad can it be?

An hour later, she surveys the misshapen brown biscuits lying on the grey tin tray.

Apparently, it can be very bad, she thinks ruefully. 

“I don’t understand. You’re good at cooking—hell, you’re perfect at it, but you can’t bake?” she points out as her brows furrows.

“Rey,” he snaps, a pink tint forming on his cheeks as he glares at her. “I told you I couldn’t bake, remember?”

“Is it even edible?” she teasingly wonders aloud as she pokes at one of the biscuit with a fork.

“Fuck off,” he mutters sullenly, crossing his arms. 

The image he presents makes her stifle a laugh because he resembles a petulant young boy not having gotten his way.

“Well, this is just what it looks like, maybe it’ll taste great,” she tries and reaches for a one. 

“No! Don’t!” He interrupts and positions himself between her and the tray. “You might get food poisoning.”

“Don’t be silly,” she laughs and quickly snatches one and pops it into her mouth before Ben can intervene. 

Ben looks panicky as she slowly chews but when she doesn’t immediately start gagging and choking, he relaxes. Nevertheless, there is no mistaking the wary look in his eyes as he observes her.

Truthfully, the biscuits tastes alright. It’s just perhaps the way Ben has laid out the dough on the tray, she muses as she takes another bite.

“Actually,” she says, pausing to swallow, “it’s not too bad.”

A brow raised is all the response she needs from him and Rey grins broadly. “I’m serious! It’s pretty good, here, try.”

“Maybe later,” he murmurs. 

What happens next almost gives her a heart attack. 

She is very aware of his eyes on her but she is definitely not prepared when he reaches forward and his thumb gently swipes across her lower lip, brushing off the crumbs there before he slowly raises them to his face and sucks them off his thumb.

Rey knows her eyes are growing impossibly wide and really, with the way he is looking at her, she thinks he might finally kiss her.

But thinking back on the past few days she’s been here, with her always hoping for something and not receiving it—the disappointment and sting of rejection that’s like a dagger to her heart every time she puts herself out there, she stares at him, glances away and quickly rearranges the items on the counter.

“Right, well,” she clears her throat and takes a step back before pulling out the icing bags. “We should start on these.”

She is too busy with arranging the biscuits into neat little rows of five that she misses the flicker of regret in his eyes.

* * * * *

**Day 16**

“So…”

Rey blinks and turns to Jyn who is eyeing her speculatively. 

“Have you and Ben fucked yet?”

Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth to reply, but the saliva in her mouth goes down the wrong pipe and Rey feels her throat tightening as she chokes and coughs and begins pounding on her chest with a fist.

“I guess not, then,” Jyn replies wryly as she hands a glass of water to her.

“W-what-What makes you even ask that?” Rey sputters when she is finally able to speak. “No, what makes you even _think_ that?”

Jyn shrugs as she chews on a biscuit. “The sexual tension between the both of you? It’s so tangible that Cassian is getting lucky whenever we see you two.”

Her face grows unbelievably warm and Rey cannot look at Cassian the same way again after Jyn’s revelation. “Well,” she clears her throat and smiles forcefully. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. There is no sexual tension. Ben and I are just friends.”

“Friends,” Jyn repeats dryly, raising her brows skeptically.

“Friends,” Rey says firmly as she towels another dish dry.

“Liar.”

“No! It’s true!”

Jyn snorts and takes the plate from her before storing it into the cabinet above them. “That’s like the worst lie I’ve ever heard. Ben likes you, you know.”

At that, Rey stills from taking another plate out of the dishwater and narrows her gaze at Jyn. “What? No, he doesn’t.”

“Yeah, he does.” Jyn scrunches up her nose. “You’re all he talks about these days and it’s so obvious from the way he looks at you.”

She swallows, not truly believing what Jyn is confiding in her, that somehow her feelings might be reciprocated after all.

“No,” she murmurs and turns away, focusing on the four remaining bowls in the dishwasher. “He doesn’t.”

“Rey, give it up. I have a pair of working eyes. You like him, he likes you. What’s so hard about that?”

She stops, darting a glance over her shoulder to see Ben and Cassian arguing about something at the television. The men cooked. Cassian had insisted Jyn couldn’t and Ben refused to let her cook considering she was his guest. Hence, she and Jyn are on clean-up duty.

Sensing where her thoughts might be, Jyn shakes her head and grabs the bowls before she can. “They won’t hear you. Once they see the hockey game, they won’t stop.”

Rey almost laughs at that but the despondency of whatever is going on (or whatever that is not going on) between her and Ben takes precedence. 

“Come on, you can tell me,” Jyn coaxes, leaning her waist on the side of the sink. “I may be able to help.”

Licking her lips, she sighs and darts another cautionary gaze to the living room. “He doesn’t want to kiss me.”

“What? Explain.”

Flushing, she ducks her head down and shrugs. “It’s not for the lack of trying. I’ve been giving hints the entire time—since I’ve arrived to be honest. But no,” she pauses and slumps her shoulders. “Ben knows. It’s just that…he avoids or turns away or changes the subject. Basically he runs off or does something else.”

Jyn huffs and rolls her eyes, unimpressed, muttering something about ‘chicken shit’ and ‘pathetic’. 

“So, it doesn’t really matter what he feels. It’s more of what he doesn’t want. Ergo, me.”

“Look,” Jyn sighs and fixes her gaze on her. “I’ve known Ben since we were in college because he and Cassian were best friends and roommates—but you already know that. Anyway, the main point is that the reason why they are friends is because they are very alike.”

Rey blinks.

“And,” Jyn continues. “They are both idiots. I knew Cassian liked me for over a year but he didn’t make the first move because he was scared our friendship would be ruined. But I knew better, hence I kissed him first and the rest is history!”

“Really?” She leans closer, intrigued by the tale. Despite knowing the Andors, she’d never thought to ask how they’d first met.

“Yes,” Jyn grins. “So my point is, you have to grab the bull by its horns. Make the first move and then after, leave the rest to him.”

Rey bites her lower lip as the other woman winks and saunters out of the kitchen. 

It is much later when she’s staring at the television, lost in thought when Ben finally approaches her, a cup of hot tea in his hands as he studies her carefully. 

The Andors left when the game ended and well, now with what she knew and the burning conflict within her, she almost wishes they’d stayed. At least it would make this awkward tension between her and her host bearable.

Apparently, fate has other ideas.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She recalls what Jyn said, that Ben Solo is afraid of making the first move in fear that he might mess things up—that he is basically a giant chicken but will follow through if he’s given the right signs.

Rey stares at him, noting the concern and curiosity in his eyes and the way they occasionally dart to her mouth. Goddamnit, she’s so annoyed and frustration with him and his idiotic self is coursing through her veins and she scowls up at him.

Fuck everything.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” she asks quietly and maybe a tad accusingly. 

His eyes widen and his jaw drops. “W-what?”

A minute passes and still not receiving any kisses from him except for goggled eyes and an open mouth, she sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Never mind. Forget it.”

Because if he’s not going to do anything at this point, Rey might as well forget about him and head back home. The same sting of rejection and hurt bubbles perilously close to the surface. She definitely doesn’t want to cry in front of him or show any more vulnerability considering he’s the one causing her to be so weak, so she makes a move to brush pass him to her room.

But his hand grabs her bicep gently and firmly, preventing her from moving further. Despite the tell-tale signs of tears gathering in her eyes, Rey risks a glance up at to see that he’s frowning at her. 

His eyes are almost impossible to read, the dark orbs scanning her every feature, and his brows furrow in what appears to be confusion. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, a hand moving up to run his fingers through his hair haphazardly.

“You want me to kiss you?”

Rey suppresses the flinch that wants to make an appearance on her face. Is it really that much of a surprise that she wants him? Did he have to sound so…so…shocked and seem so lost for words? Is the idea of kissing her really that bad?

She hadn’t thought it possible, but the hurt in her heart intensifies and she squirms her arm out of his grip and shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just pretend I didn’t say that, okay?”

Ben gazes down at her, an unfathomable expression on his face and without warning, his hands clamp down on her arms, giving her no choice but to stay where she is and stare up at him with wide eyes.

And then, his lips are on hers in one fell swoop.

Soft.

Tender.

Everything she’d thought their first kiss would be.

She tastes coffee on his lips and some of her lip gloss she’d applied earlier. But that doesn’t matter. Not when Ben is kissing her as though she’s everything he wanted. He’s kissing her, she thinks in a daze. He’s kissing her as though his life depends on it. 

Every move of his mouth on hers sends her heart racing. Every caress of his tongue on the seam of her lips sends her mind speeding from one thought to the next. 

Rey is so overwhelmed by the very fact that Ben is – _finally_ – kissing her that she did not realise she isn’t kissing him back until he pulls away.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to kiss me?” he rasps against her mouth, eyes dark and clouded as he releases her so that one of his hands can brush her cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

She blinks and nods eagerly. Not giving him a chance to respond, she slings an arm around his neck and draws him closer until their mouths meet once more. This time, she gives as good as she gets; tongue sliding against his, mouth moving against his and she nips his bottom lip with her teeth, enjoying the rumble in his chest.

Along the way, she loses her clothing, enjoying the way his fingers, calloused from playing the guitar slides up her skin. They are hot to the touch, especially when they slide up to cup her breasts through the plain satin navy bra she has on.

“You’re perfect,” he growls against her neck as he hoists her up, her jean-clad arse in his hands as he slowly walks them to his bedroom.

“So are you,” she murmurs dazedly as her fingers trail around his broad chest, enjoying the feel of every curve and dip on his torso. “I didn’t know you went to the gym,” she adds, fascinated by the rippling of his abdominal muscles.

“Yeah,” he gasps, losing all train of thought when her hand follows the happy trail that stops abruptly at the waistband of his pants.

“Keep doing that,” she hisses through her teeth when he grinds his erection against her. 

“What? This?” 

Another roll of his hips and she moans, her head falling back, providing him with the opportunity to bury his face into her neck.

“Stop teasing,” she mutters when she has enough of the playful light touches on her inner thighs. “I want you. Now.”

Ben eyes her and she wonders how he is even capable of thought considering the impressive bulge straining against the zipper of his jeans. 

“Are you sure?” he asks hesitantly as he places her on the bed. “We can wait.”

Despite his calm countenance, there is no mistaking the way his eyes dart to her chest or how his breathing is ridiculously shallow. 

That being said, Rey wants him. She’s wanted him for months. She’s fantasised about him, dreamt about him and now that she’s here, in his bed, she refuses to wait any longer. 

“Yes.” 

She gets to her feet, her palms sliding up his broad muscular chest as she wraps them around his neck, enjoying the silky feel of his hair at the nape of his neck. “I want you, Ben. I have for a while now.”

Rey doesn’t get a verbal response but a low groan and the next thing she knows, she’s lying back on the bed as he gets on top of her, his forearms supporting his weight as he melds their mouths back together again.

Bit by bit, their clothes fall off and they’re bare with each other. 

She thinks that maybe she ought to be a little shy but she isn’t. Instead, she revels in the way he looks at her—his eyes drinking her in, worshipping her before his mouth glides against her skin. 

She’d never thought that anyone would look at her the way Ben looks down at her.

“Rey, I think I’ve wanted you the moment I saw you,” he says reverently as he aligns himself against her.

She can only moan in reply, a whimper escaping her throat when he slowly enters her. He’s too big, she thinks. The stretch of her inner walls accommodating his length is a conflicting blend of mind-numbing pain and pleasure. 

Somehow, Ben senses her discomfort and pauses, sweat dripping down his neck as he tries to hold off until she gets more accustomed to him and she adores him for that.

“I’m okay,” she mutters at the concerned anxious look he gives her. “I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute or two. It’s been a while,” she admits shyly, eyes meeting his. 

He nods and gives her a lingering kiss that steals her breath away.

A minute shift of his hips sends heat and god, it feels so good, that’s the last thing she thinks of when she urges him on and a slow gentle rhythm is formed. 

It doesn’t take long before their basic urges consume them and a faster rougher pace is adopted. Her legs are wrapped around his hips, her ankles digging into the small of his back to urge him to go faster. 

Of course, with how long it’s been for her since she had sex, plus with how fucking good this feels and because it’s with Ben, Rey doesn’t take long to shatter into pieces. 

She lets out a silent scream, face burrowing into the crook of his neck as she digs her fingernails into his back, as though she can pass this intense pleasurable pressure onto him because it’s too much for her. 

It feels so good and yet, it’s too much.

Heck, she isn’t even aware when Ben crashes over his edge and slumps down onto the bed, arms automatically pulling her into his chest. 

Rey is exhausted, her mind is in that fuzzy space where she is almost asleep but not quite and she definitely doesn’t miss the way his hand rubs tender and dare she say it, loving patterns on her hip and waist.

Just as her eyes drift shut, she thinks she might actually love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kuods mean the world! <3


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